How Compromise is Like Pizza Toppings in Marriage

How Compromise is Like Pizza Toppings

Pizza. The options are endless when it comes to the kinds. As far as crusts, you have thick and thin and deep-dish. There is stuffed crust and seasoned crust. And then when you move on to the toppings, you can create just about any combination of flavors your heart desires.

The Original Favorite

Growing up, my family usually stuck with pepperoni and sausage. I figured that was the only way to go, that choosing another option was subpar. We occasionally branched out to ham and pineapple but it didn’t seem to disappear quite like the other.

Fast forward to my marriage years later. My husband only likes sausage every once in a while, causing my normal pizza option to change to solely pepperoni. A few months ago, he wanted to order the combination pizza and, being stuck in my ways, I turned up my nose and couldn’t believe he wanted to ruin our delicious dinner with onions and olives, mushrooms and green peppers.

Trying out the different toppings

Trying to be agreeable, we ordered a combination pizza from a local pizza place and brought it home. My stomach grumbling, I still wasn’t excited about said pizza. I sat down with my colorful paper plate (which equals no dishes) and took a slice from the box.

I stared at the toppings, knowing that the thickness of the red onion was going to ruin my dinner. And the green peppers? Those were only meant to be eaten in fajitas.

I took a bite and chewed, the flavors combining. I waited a minute and realized I didn’t hate it. I took another bite, this one even better than the last. I finished that slice and took another one.

At this point, I thought, “Hey! Maybe I like red onions! Green peppers are delicious on top of red sauce and cheese!”

Then the connections started happening. I realized that just a few pizza toppings symbolized a lot of things in my marriage.

How do Toppings Connect to Marriage

Marriage brings two people together, each one from a completely different background where their moms and dads did things a certain way. Each one believes he/she is correct in their way of thinking because that’s all they’ve ever known.

Whether it’s how to cook spaghetti or how to wash the clothes, small differences like this can get in the way of marriage. These differences, if not tried from the other person’s point of view, can drive a wedge in the relationship. It may start out small but little by little, the wedge grows larger until they are basically living different lives.

Try it from the other side

Obviously, there is a good and a bad way to handle these differences. If we act as though our way of doing it is superior, chances are our spouse will be on the defensive, maintaining their stance. If we don’t let go of that pride and try out another method, recipe, direction, etc., instead of moving closer to him/her, we are moving away.

Sometimes all it takes is the effort to try something new to change an attitude. What if you try it and it ends up being more efficient? What if it tastes better than your own recipe? What if it works better than the tools you were using before?

That’s when you change your way of thinking, humble yourself a bit and be happy that you saved some time. Or that you made that recipe even more delicious than you remember growing up.

But what if you try it and it doesn’t work out at all? No need to rub it in your spouse’s face. The important thing is that you tried it out, or you gave a valiant effort to try it out, which is all we can really hope for.

Finding All the Good Things

That’s how married life is. We see things from different perspectives, form different opinions but we can’t leave these in cement, being unwilling to change and learn from one another. This is when we pose our thoughts in a calm manner, taking into consideration the feelings and opinions of our spouse. We discuss it, taking the time to think about it from the other’s perspective. And then we make a decision.

There are some things we can decide within seconds with our spouse. There are others that may take many hours, weeks and even years to agree on. But the whole idea is that pepperoni is good, but it’s not the only good thing out there. We might find something we like that we never considered.

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