Healthy relationships are important for many times in our life but the relationship we need to nurture and help the most is in our marriage.
As I was reading through some of the threads in a Facebook group a while back, I found a questions that I thought was quite interesting. Those are the ones I save to read later or end up getting sucked into all of the responses.
The question was basically, “What are the deepest needs you feel should be part of a healthy relationship?” so here are a few of them:
An Emotional Connection
Marriage brings together two people from different backgrounds and coming to an even plane can sometimes be the biggest challenge in that first year. But what each individual wants from that relationship is to know that they can talk about anything and everything.
Many couples have a dominant partner, one who takes over and belittles the other. No one will feel safe to share anything in that type of relationship.
Establish an emotional connection by taking time to talk to one another daily. Start with easy topics to get the conversation going and then discuss ideas, opportunities, habits, etc. that will help your marriage grow together better.
Respect for Opinions
Going off the emotional connection, it is important to listen and show respect for how your spouse feels about certain topics and situations. Showing that you will love him or her no matter how they feel helps them to work through their insecurities and doubts in a safe place. They will know they can voice their opinions and be accepted.
It’s hard when a spouse suddenly goes against many of the things they’ve believed in the past but this is where you are supportive. You don’t have to agree with them if it’s against something you feel but listen and help him or her work through the situation.
Recognition of Talents
Everyone needs a little encouragement now and again of the abilities they have. Whatever your talents, whether its in sports, at work, taking care of the family, decorating the home, these matter to your spouse. Take the time out of your day to acknowledge them. Make an effort to notice the differences your spouse’s talents have made on your home, or even your spouse.
Take the time to listen to your spouse’s successes, especially when you can’t see them. Let them know you support them and help them to achieve goals.
There’s nothing better than doing something and having your spouse recognize it. Cleaning is definitely not my strong suit but it is nice to hear Max ask, “Did you clean the floor today? It looks nice.” Something as simple as that can turn something you dread to something easier to do.
Physical intimacy is one of the most important parts of a marriage. It brings husband and wife closer together, and helps solidify the bonds they already have. Remembering that you each have needs and that they might be different will help to find a solution that works for each of you.
Some might like to cuddle more than have sex. When that happens, you have to compromise and work out a plan so that each partner’s physical needs are met.
Besides the relationship with God, the relationship of a husband and wife is the most important in life. You have joined your lives together, have worked to make it work as coming from differing backgrounds and experiences can be difficult at first.
Besides love and devotion, honesty needs to be high on the list of values shared between the two of you. Sharing everything with each other, makes it easier to learn about each other as well as helps to keep communication open.
Being truthful in a marriage can resonate much further than you think. When things are tough or falling apart, it helps to know you have the full support of your spouse. Be honest. Tell your spouse how you’re feeling, whether you’re happy, sad, depressed, angry, etc. Work through it together, rejoice together.
Own Little Space
As much as you love your spouse, sometimes a little space is needed. I’m not referring to separation but to a few hours apart. Just like parenthood, a few hours away can do wonders to rejuvenate you. It helps to clear your mind and remind you that you love your spouse and your family.
Time away for a small hobby, to run errands or to catch up with a few friends every so often helps bring gratitude for your own situation.
Don’t Forget About the Chasing
When dating, it’s easy to have fun and do things to make the other feel special. Often, after time being married, that feeling leaves. Work, kids, busy schedules are just a few reasons. The other is the comfort we feel know that we are connected with our spouse.
Don’t forget to chase your spouse! You might not do things every day but make sure to work up to more often than you do now. Small acts of service, simple love text messages, or a little more PDA can do a lot for your relationship.
Build Strong Relationships Now!
Strong Relationships, noun.
1. able to withstand great force or pressure.
Marriage & Family are the most important relationships we can have in this life. Join us as we work to strengthen each other and fight to help others do the same!