13 Ways To Get Romance Back In A Relationship
What was your favorite thing when you first started dating your spouse? Was it the way he/she laughed? How excited they were about things? Those probably brought butterflies and might fill you with those good tingly feelings as you think about them.
Maybe you don’t feel that as much as you used to and that happens. That is part of life and you might think things are lacking in the romance department.
That doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is doomed, just that you need to switch things up a bit to reconnect that spark. And we have 13 small ways to rekindle that romance!
Long Hugs and Kisses
It can be easy to fall into the rut of a quick kiss before dashing out to the office or in the midst of getting some of the housework done. Take some time for an extended hug or a long kiss. It’s amazing what a little physical connection can do to help you feel the love again.
Much like hugging and kissing, holding hands is something simple that often gets overlooked. It can be hard to hold hands when you’re wrangling kids and running in different directions but when you have the chance, do it! Date night, watching a movie on the couch or just out and about will do wonders for the spark.
Yes, physical intimacy is important with your spouse but cuddling can go a long way in helping with romance renewal. Without all the specific scientific jargon, the benefits can help you relax and strengthen the bond. Cuddle for a little bit before bed and in the morning before getting up.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, when your spouse listens to your problems, concerns, your hopes or wishes, it means the world. Being heard is one of the biggest points of communication and can go a long way in building trust.
But it’s not quite enough to just listen but to act on it goes the extra step. Think brownie points! If you’re wife says she’s stressed because she’s working on a big project, help pick up the slack around the house. You live there after all and you might as well help out. If your husband says he wants to start a new venture, help him go through the details and get things started.
Spending that time together, even during your busy season of life.
Spend a night with nostalgia
Pull out pictures from the beginning of your relationship and reminisce. You can talk about things that happened then and discuss things that have changed. If there are any problems still looming, you can talk about them and move forward.
There’s no better way to bring back the butterflies than remembering why you got together and why you fell in love. If your vision of your present or future has changed, work to figure that out and make a solution together. If you wish there were more surprises, or more compliments, or more anything, talk about it. Don’t just wish he or she will read your mind.
Focus on the Positives
Sometimes life makes it easy for us to pick apart our spouse. Maybe you’re overly tired and everything he/she does drives you crazy. Every day for a week, write down the good qualities that your spouse possesses. If you can see the talents and the small everyday actions, you’re more likely to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Share those positives with your kids, friends and family. When you give compliments and help others see your spouse in a good light, it benefits you and them.
Surprises & Texts
Even on a small budget, you can make your spouse feel your love with a few surprises. Maybe it’s getting a single flower that’s her favorite and adding some love coupons that she can “redeem”. Maybe it’s getting or making his favorite treat and then leaving little love notes all over.
You can do big surprises like fully planned date nights or giving each other some alone time.
Send texts back and forth throughout the day. There’s nothing more romantic and getting the heart thumping than a simple phrase showing love during a busy day.
Write handwritten letters
In a world of technology and automation, a personal touch can make a huge difference. Take the time to pull out some paper and a pen and write down how you feel about your spouse.
Better yet, get a notebook and take turns writing each other notes. The best part about that is you can keep them all together and go back and re-read them when you’re having a rough day or just need a little boost.
Secret romantic getaway
Make all the necessary plans to get away for a weekend but in secret. If you have kids, arrange a babysitter. Figure out all the details to get to the destination as well as how you will get your spouse there. Think through how you will tell your spouse you’re leaving and whether or not you are packing his/her bag.
This can be a lot of fun for your spouse and shows how much you care to go through all the trouble of planning everything.
Breakfast in bed
No matter if you’re a chef or can burn mac and cheese, you can come up with a way to pull this off. Most of it is the thought that counts. Do you know what your spouse likes to eat for breakfast?
If you need to, throw a few frozen waffles in the toaster. Pick a flower and add it to the tray or the plate. Put your own spin on this because it’s that special and personal touch that will bring back the romance.
Fancy restaurant for no reason
Surprise your spouse with reservations at a fancy restaurant or a place he/she/you both have always wanted to eat. Do it when you don’t have a reason to celebrate and make it celebrating your time together. It’s a good excuse to dress up a bit and have some fun together.
Give up your favorite thing and focus on your spouse
If you play video games night after night, put down the controller. If you get sucked into the social media web, turn off the temptations for a night or make it a longer goal. When things take more of our attention than our spouse, the relationship suffers. Make a plan to spend an equal or larger amount of time doing things with your spouse than you do that activity.
Whether you take the night off from cooking by ordering in or you go all out with a culinary masterpiece, eat it by candlelight. It’s something different and if kids are in bed, it makes enjoying the food even easier as you won’t have to answer their cries.
Try out a few of these ideas to get romance back in a relationship and see how your feelings start to heat up again!
Strong Marriage Tips in Your Inbox!
Having a strong marriage takes work. Join us to get tips and support as you work to be Marriage Strong!