This post has been on my mind for quite some time, months actually. When people hear you’re having multiples, you get all sorts of crazy questions. Two of the most popular questions I get are, “Did you get pregnant with triplets naturally?” or “Do multiples run in one of your families?”
My typical response to this is that I took drugs. Some people look at me horrified. Others realize that those questions are a little more personal. When I finally say I took Clomid (pills to help you ovulate), their looks go from curiosity to dismissal, like, “Well, that doesn’t count then.” Say, what?
What is considered “natural”?
The common thought is that pregnancy should happen without any “help”, as if fertility pills and processes are cheating. There are a lot of women that can get pregnant without a hitch. They decide it’s time to have a baby (or their body decides for them as a surprise) and BAM! it happens. Yes, that is natural.
But why can’t any route to getting pregnant be considered natural? Why can’t doing everything you can to become a mother be validated? The emotional rollercoaster itself is enough to prove how important it may be for women. We’ve had so many months of hoping, my mind telling me I could be pregnant because of a little wave of nausea, only to be crushed when the test comes out negative.
Is it natural….
Is it natural for a woman to want to feel a baby moving inside them?
Is it natural for her to give up what figure she might have had to bring a child (or several) into the world?
Is it natural for her to go through all the uncomfortable moments of morning sickness, gaining weight, and not being able to sleep by the end of 9 months?
Is it natural for a woman to go through the recovery process after having a baby?
So why is a pregnancy through In vitro fertilization, or a pregnancy from pills not considered natural?
There are people like me, who have to go through months of waiting, testing, trying different medications, and then go even farther with IUIs, IVF, etc. We suffer in silence as friends and family members get pregnant with ease, or as a friend once phrased it, “reproduce like rabbits”.
Two years ago, I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). There are several symptoms of it, like irregular periods, excess body and facial hair and weight gain. Apparently it’s the most common endocrine disorder for women 18-44 but most women go undiagnosed. Because of this, I have to take Clomid to ovulate. But as luck would have it, my body only reacts to the pills after I’ve lost a significant amount of weight. And we know the joys of weight loss…
What I don’t like is when people find out that you have used medication or done one of the bigger procedures, they act as though you cheated the system for getting pregnant. After months and years of trying, I am ecstatic when I find out I’m pregnant! It’s not like I’m growing some robot inside of me, it’s a growing baby just like the next woman.
Why modern medicine is awesome
In thinking about being a part of the past, even 50-60 years ago, if I had the problems with PCOS that I do now, would I have been able to get pregnant? Maybe if I was lucky, and all of the stars aligned and God saw that it was time for us to have a kid.
Because of modern medicine, my dream of becoming a mom came true. I have four kids! Sometimes it’s a little crazy to think about, especially that we have triplets but I’m happy. I may be tested on a daily basis with patience and how much I can get done while surviving on a couple hours of sleep but there is a smile on my face.
Not everything works for everyone
Before we got pregnant with Little Roper, everyone felt like they had the secret to getting pregnant. Relax, they said. It’s not your time yet, they said.
Go on this crazy diet, one said. It was something about finding a farm where you could purchase fresh milk and eggs and then only eating organic of everything else. While I try to eat healthy for the most part, we didn’t have the time or the money to track everything down like that.
I guess what I’m saying is we need to remember that families aren’t always formed in the same way. With the technology and medicinal research we have, families can come in all sizes and ways.
It’s natural to have babies but some women need a little help to get that going. Let’s celebrate the pregnancy and the new baby without the stigma of chemicals and labs and petri dishes. Because there are plenty of hard things women go through in their life, don’t make one of the happiest and dream-fulfilling things into something to be looked down upon. Build each other up, because women need women!
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